Updated: Feb 27, 2022
Full disclosure it will not get easier but will become bearable,
Reflexes may be tested, dialing numbers still unreachable,
Photos, scents , locations may bring you back to the start,
A momentary relapse dragging on the heart.
Time may freeze, straining to envision their smile,
What once consumed your memories fades after a while,
Thoughts of them, once a pastime, now every other time until slowly barely half the time,
Or more so a default in your mind so any hurt is just combined,
Diluted and reduced just enough to do life,
No longer a main fixture more so intermittent strife,
New pains new joys build resilience inside,
Until you pause to look back and see you're out the other side.
You hadn't even noticed you'd been riding through the fog,
Pangs of guilt are one less thing in your emotional catalogue,
You may question your resilience asking if the nightmare will end,
But I speak from 6 years deep, hope is just past this long roads bend.
Their absence will fill with fond memories & gratitude to have shared them,
Now a quick nod, smile or cry, acknowledge thoughts resurfacing again,
It may seem right now that there is no point and purpose,
And its hard to push past those thoughts that don't serve us
But think of every past heartache you thought you'd never get through,
Now fast forward to when you broke out, a stronger brand new you,
You may always carry this weight but over time it will feel lighter,
Don't dim your shine just yet have faith that you're a fighter.